Sunday, 21 September 2014

You’re a nice guy but…

The ‘nice guy’ is a popular topic of discussion but I thought my take on it was required so here it is in one sentence: being the ‘nice guy’ doesn’t make you the right guy!

It’s as simple as that.

What makes a guy ‘right’ is totally subjective; ticking the ‘nice’ checkbox is certainly a right box to be ticking BUT it’s not the only box we want ticked off! And here, fellas, is why the ‘nice guy’ tends to finish last – he’s just too nice. In other words, he’s exceptional in the ‘nice’ department but scores poorly in other areas we value just as highly yet expects us to overlook it just because he’s a ‘nice guy’. Pssssh…I don’t have to want to be with you just because you’re nice, I think my friends are nice too! Sorry to burst your bubble but the ‘nice’ checkbox doesn’t overrule all; you need to be a nice guy with a whole lot of other things on my list (which I’ve managed to cut down *pats back*, time is ticking!). It’s like going to a phone shop and the sales guy tries to sell you a nice phone but you can't make or receive calls! It being a nice phone no longer has any weight if does not have the basics. Being nice does not overrule!

I felt the need to write this because the other day I witnessed the tragic death of a nice guy and it distresses me to know that nice decent guys think they have to front like they're bad guys to keep a woman interested – you think girls want guys who lie and make them cry? Now that’s just schuuupid! And there’s nothing more annoyingly frustrating than a guy who plays it ‘too cool’; like hello…any more laid back and you’ll be in bed all day! There’s nice and there’s too nice; nice that keeps her smiling all day and too nice that makes her want to throw up because that's all you are and too much of anything can make you sick!

An end needs to be put to cries about nice guys finishing last. Yeah nice guys with no ambition or goals finish last; nice guys with no jobs finish last; nice guys who are pushovers finish last; nice guys who are spineless and lack personality finish last; nice guys with no charm and no confidence finish last; nice guys who are bland and boring finish last; nice guys who wear socks with sandals or think wearing jeans tighter than mine is ok, finish last. You dig? Like really, do u honestly believe a woman would dismiss a Brad Pitt for being 'nice'?! You think if Bradley Cooper was calling/texting me 10 times a day wanting to meet up, surprising me with bouquets, throwing stones outside my window (err actually scrap that, that would creep me out), showing up at my office with a rose in his mouth and a love poem he wrote for me in his hands (a girl can dream) think I’d dismiss him as too nice? Of course I want a nice guy; I don’t want the show no emotion type of dude so I can forever be second guessing how he really feels about me, or the ‘bad boy’ who can’t stay on the right side of the law, or even worse, the man who will happily give me a black eye, you think I want an Ike or a C-Breezy?! Stop with this misconception that women only go for bad boys because if a woman is head over heels in love with a ‘bad boy’, chances are it’s not because he’s bad but because he has attributes that she values.

So what's my point? My point is this, when a guy is described as too nice, it generally means he's 'just nice' and not much else. It DOES NOT translate to 'he is absolutely mind-blowingly amazing but my dumbass is totally going to ignore that because...he's too nice'. If a woman genuinely likes a guy, damn right she wants him to be nice! Most often, the ones we like aren't nice enough! Let me just say, there’s no such thing as ‘too nice’ if a guy has a lot going on for himself; being the nice guy is a very strong attribute BUTTTTTTT stands painfully weak on its own.

& that’s all folks.